TRW: Desdemon

Another NaNoWriMo successfully under my belt!

I intended to write Edge/ Legend...but really ended up writing a story called Schmetterling. About 15K of it is non-Schmetterling stuff like other stories, rants, and stuff for grad school applications, but it's still 50,000 words!

Below is one of these non-Schmetterling pieces, the River Windrose scene for Desdemon Enelaizon. it gets into some tarot stuff, but hopefully understandable. Please enjoy!

WC: 1,553

A lightning bolt shot up through the clear night sky. At the point where the electricity joined sky and earth, there was the black and white shape of a man. Then the monotone image seemed to settle into a three-dimensional shape, and color washed into to the man. The scene returned to one of tranquility—or as close to tranquility as it ever was. 

Around the man and the pool of water he stood in was a river of fire. Friendly orange-yellow flames climbed, lava-like, up a slope; then in the distance, they suddenly split, creating a great pillar of fire that stretched unfathomably up and down. 

The man gazed at the great pillar with a bitter smile. The pillar of fire was his gateway to his home: the Blackmist that existed everywhere yet was the “nothing” that suspended the nonphysical world. Symbolically speaking, the pillar was his ladder up or down to the realms mortals called “Heaven” and “Hell”. But along with the comfort and familiarity that a home ought to bring, the great pillar of fire also filled this man with a sense of homesickness and longing.

He reached his hand out and suddenly he was floating directly before the pillar. Hot air swept this body’s black curls around his face. Being so close ought to have scorched any living thing to a crisp. But this was all a gentle breeze to him. The flames that barreled at immeasurable speeds up and down in the pillar felt to his hand sitting in it like the cleansing water of a gentle stream or relaxing bath to a mortal. This world, the purely spiritual, was where he belonged. 

He pulled his arm away and his senses returned to the body that was standing in the pool of water.

“You chose this,” a voice boomed in the landscape. “You confined yourself to a physical body, to a mortal soul, bound by the weaves of Destiny.” 

The voice materialized as a twin of himself: only this twin had ashen skin the grey color of stone where his was a light bronze; the twin had dark orange irises, the color of fire and burning sun, where his were a deep ocean blue; the twin had wispy black hair that occasionally sent off sparks of light and fire, whereas his hair was still black, but normal curls that covered his head. Even the voice of this twin was more ethereal and splendid, although his normal voice was already baritone that mortals likened more towards music than speech.

He called this twin self the Sixteenth, after the sixteenth aspect of the Major Arcana; it was the Tower. And the Sixteenth called him, bound to a mortal body and soul, Desdemon Enelaizon. 

Desdemon faced the Sixteenth calmly. “Yes. We did choose this.”

The Sixteenth showed no regret or irritation. It was not in conflict with the mortal Desdemon. The Sixteenth served the great and common Will of the Arcana, and this body named Desdemon served as its vessel. But the Sixteenth had some points of Desdemon’s life that it did not agree with.

Desdemon too showed the Sixteenth neither annoyance nor resentment. He turned away from the pillar of fire. Although flames crackled throughout the river of fire, Desdemon himself stood in a shallow pool of water that barely covered his bare feet. Water and flame maintained a boundary there in the area around him. Here the tongues of the fire seemed curled into gentle waves, and there the water turned to steam and flickered like a candle wick. Around this inexplicable boundary raged fire. 

But further out, beyond the shape of the thin river, was pitch dark. The river and the pool Desdemon stood in were suspended in nothing but darkness, impenetrable to the senses but comforting at the same time. It too, reminded Desdemon of his original home—the Sixteenth’s home. 

“The mortal part of your soul houses here,” the Sixteeth said, his deep voice paradoxically sounding over the entire of the landscape yet not too loud for a normal, private, conversation. “Mortals gather strength to their souls and fortify their anima in their private place. For us though, this is the gate homeward.” The Sixteenth turned gravely to Desdemon. “For you, mortal soul, this is where I, the eternal soul, will wait. You will need me in the course of your mortal life. And I will be here every time.”

The Sixteenth turned away and walked into the flames. Behind them were the ruins a small building that had housed an altar to the Aspect of the Tower. Desdemon followed the Sixteenth towards it too, but when he walked, the pool of water followed him. He stepped in the small temple and the pool of water grew to encompass a space  the size of a modest gazebo. 

The one-room, open-air building was nothing but a heap of stone with a broken domed ceiling and crumbling pillars, and the altar itself was nothing but a fractured pedestal, but they still offered Desdemon, and the Sixteenth, solace and strength: Inside the space of the temple, the crackle of the River and the roar of the pillar seemed to fade to white noise; resting on the broken altar was a chain as dark as the blackness beyond the River. Currently, the chain curled into a neat pocket-sized coil, but in its weaponized form extended twelve feet long and conducted a whip of destruction. 

Desdemon left the chain as it was and rested on a large chunk of rubble. In the spaces of air between the temple’s broken pillar played mirages of mortal lives and thoughts. He saw the city he had buried under earth and ash just that day, and the cries of despairing mortals as they beheld the desolation of their homes. It would not be for many years, Desdemon knew, that they would see the purification that the quake had brought.

He banished these images with a casual sweep of his long fingers. He did not retreat within himself to review the business of the Tower and the Sixteenth. 

Now he saw familiar faces: souls the Sixteenth had cleansed before and favored. Some of these had the Tower’s Gift of Purification: an ability that could take any physical form apart and recreate it in a more desired configuration. As the form was purified, it appeared black and white, as Desdemon’s body had when he first entered his River Windrose. 

Desdemon let his gaze linger on a girl that had been named after his own chosen moniker. She was covered in soot and despair, tears running from her eyes as she escaped her home. Trying times awaited her still. But it was all a process. Gaining the Sixteenth’s favor was a destructive ordeal, but it left the strongest branches of a person’s soul uncovered and free to flourish.

The images faded again, and this time a gentle tune hummed through the air. Then in the largest space and that only, a vision started playing again. It focused on a young girl, running carefree through a field and chasing the birds that flew overhead. 

The Sixteenth appeared in his peripheral vision, also examining the new scene. “You heard about the Tenth’s prophecy for your mortal self then. About this…other soul, who has been inextricably tied to our mortal soul.”

“Silence spoke to me of a soulmate,” Desdemon confirmed, naming specifically the Aspect of Destiny in the Tenth, the Wheel of Fortune. 

They watched the girl chase the birds and turn, smiling and laughing and out of breath. Desdemon swept his fingers to the side again and the scene and melody faded, leaving nothing but water and the river of fire beyond it. 

“The Tenth also told you of the Knot in your threads.”

“Cadence spoke of a complication in our destinies,” Desdemon acknowledged, this time naming the Aspect of Fate in the Wheel of Fortune. 

“Blame the idiotic and fickle Tenth if your mortal soul must cast blame to anything.”

“I do not blame Tone,” translated Desdemon, naming the third and final Aspect of Luck in the Wheel of Fortune.

The Sixteenth brought a still of the girl back into view. The image wavered, like a candle flame approaching its death, and for a brief moment, Desdemon made out the image of another boy, with golden hair and dark blue-violet eyes. He drew a long, thin breath, knowing instinctively that this was the “complication”. The screen returned briefly to image of the innocent girl, and then vanished altogether.

The Sixteenth paid Desdemon’s reaction no heed. Its voice was just as grand yet cold when it addressed him: “The Tenth will speak to you here in time and of more detail.”

Desdemon stood and stepped out of the temple as though trying to run from the Sixteenth’s next words; the entire river of fire turned into a searing white in anticipation. His form turned black and white and a crackle of electricity jumped from the water as he tried to pull himself out of the River Windrose, but the Sixteeth’s words haunted him: 

“Always know, mortal me, that eternal me shall be ever here, at your fingertips. When your mortal heart shatters inconsolably, you will need me, and I will destroy her.” 

TRW: Kazerath Rizea

I realized that I had written this a while ago but not posted it! Since I still don't have Dreamreader ready, this is an update!

The character in this TRW snippet is Kazerath Rizea, who is really my brother's character. I don't think he's been detailed on in anything here, but he could potentially show up anywhere. Hopefully this descriptor scene shows some information about Kazerath. 

WC: 1,009

“Keep watch,” Kazerath told his apprentice. “I will be meditating.” He settled down and retreated to the Windrose. 

Crimson rapids greeted him. The dominant feature was a brightly-colored tree from which the blood rapids flowed. Rings of color decorated the tree: the largest was a purple crescent moon with little sets of wire-like marks that occasionally glowed. Pink and gray halos made rings around branches and roots, interspersed by black blade-like patterns that moved over the wood. Buckets of paint for his amusement hung off the branches. The tree would have looked comical with all its colors and markings, except that each set of marks represented Kazerath’s membership in a group of legendary power and reflected his own ability.

Kazerath himself floated perfectly balanced over the hilt of 14 swords that jutted forth from between the roots of the tree. Directly below him, where a shadow ought to have played on the water, was a void. The void followed him if he shifted his meditative floating position, but did not appear through the tree, if he chose to turn and scale its short height and rest between the branches. He might have a cup of tea here without the magical pressure of the blades and the void beneath him. And if he wasn’t meditating on a problem of some sort, he would usually relax in the tree, gazing out at the river and the scenes that played on both shores.

The banks of the river were polar opposites. One side was a wasteland of weapons—those of the people he had slain. In the waves of the River, Kazerath could see the faces of those gone and dead—many by his hand. Sometimes their voices haunted him as well. More than once he had intended to meditate peacefully only to be caught up chatting with a restless spirit. Some were friendly and forgave him, permitting him to use and practice with their lost weapons. More often they were hostile, and loudly distracted the peaceful mental landscape. The dead could not usually intrude in the realm of the Windrose, but Kazerath knew that every creature he killed deserved at least a separate sanctuary in his memory. He spent most of his time there—either sitting in solemn observance from the spot above the fourteen swords, or on the banks of the dead, practicing so he could prevent those on the living side to from crossing over and spilling their flesh and blood into the red river. 

The other side was an endless playground on which silhouettes of the living dwelled. This side was bright and colorful, but not without its dangers. After all, he was the training general of the elite Guard of the Ayami military. Visions and memories of the demanding training Wall showed up as often as the cluttered office his father, a professor of magical lore. Yet these brief glimpses of his family and friends that appeared kept him going when he was away from them.

Today Kazerath decided he wanted a little more respite. These days he just wished for the old times when he could just sprawl out on the couch and talk to his wife. But Elestia was over two years dead now, since the Lightspeed Battle. Training the Fatespinner had always been his destiny, and as talented and well prepared for that task Kazerath was, some days he felt the pressure take hold of him. He rose from his spot and followed a sprawling tree root towards the living shore of his River. A couch materialized there—the couch that had been in his apartment near the palace. That had burned down many years ago in the Hundred Day Siege. Nova had appeared after that, and Kazreath hardly saw his home or family after that. But in the illusion of the River, his wife sat calmly next to him, sipping tea as she browsed through pages of political text. Demitrin—their daughter, now an Object of Holena— would be practicing her aim, throwing her three magical stilettos at the same point on the wall. Her younger brother, Wyn—now the Ancilla Queen of Cups—would be playing with sparks of magical energy in his palms, keeping a quiet ear out for his father or Uncle Wen. 

“I’ve been so tired lately,” he told the illusion of his wife. “Rielle’s ranger found the Gate of the Immortals. I think it’s a sign the Final Battle’s coming up soon.” He reached his hand out even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to touch her. The Elestia before him was just a mirage created of his memories. “Nova’s shaping up well. I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think he’ll be ready to face the Fatum.”

Kazerath stopped trying to touch the illusion. “I miss you,” he confided. Nova fighting Fatum, the legendary world-ending monster, was only part of the Final Battle. There were other people fighting with him, some of whom had started off worse than Nova. He hoped his drilling would pay off. “I trust the team, but…I wish you were fighting with me.” Nothing would change that. Aside from maybe Wen, his pilot and best friend, Elestia had had the best synergy with him, both in and out of combat. 

Abruptly, the mirage of his happy family vanished. When he arrived in the River that session, the sky had been murky and clouded, reflecting his unfamiliarity with his external setting. But now, above him, the sky cleared into a russet sunset, with only a few fluffy clouds to mar the continuity. Kazerath’s face turned serious again and he headed back towards the tree. His purpose for meditating more or less complete, Elestia—or the memory of her—would not permit him to dawdle when there was work he could do. When he opened his eyes in the real world, he would be all the more prepared to face the challenges within the Gate of Immortals. He closed his eyes to the River. “Immortals, eh? Bring it.”

Dreamreader teaser: Bad Dreams

TL;DR: Dreamreader teaser. Also, I'm reading again! 

I'm reading again! Just this month I've read Mere Christianity (C.S. Lewis), Steelheart (Brandon Sanderson), Persona (Genevieve Valentine). I'll be starting The Screwtape Letters (C.S. Lewis) soon :) I'll maybe post comments on the fiction in a future post.

In terms of writing--Hey look it's an actual writing post! xForsakenx hosted a boot camp these last few weeks to get me to write consistently. Week 2 I worked on a project that's been under construction for a few months and finally has a title: Dream-reader. Hopefully I'll be finished with this project soon! So here's a little teaser :D


WC: 243

In the latest news of bad dreams, I’m fighting with Cyril. We’re sitting at our favorite ice cream parlor, across from the street from my office. We’re talking, although I can’t hear the words. Then he reaches forward to touch my hand. I flinch at his touch. I say something, and instantly, his face hardens. I startle, reach forward, fervently retracting what I just said. 

Then Cyril stands up, looking so mad he could tear a demon apart with his eyes alone. He turns to leave. I cry out, pleading forgiveness. He turns towards me again, but there’s a gun in his hand. It’s pointed at me now. I cry, my arms hanging limply at my sides. 

He pulls the trigger. In slow motion, the bullet approaches and the world goes dark. 

Before I have time to think anything about my death—or even understood that I had died in the dream— I’m back at the parlor. We’re sitting across from each other. Some distant part of me wonders if at least the ice cream flavor has changed. We talk. I say something. I probably shouldn’t. I try saying it differently. Cyril gets mad. He kills me. 

At least he’s original. Sometimes he shoots me. Sometimes he breaks my neck. Sometimes he slices me to shreds with a sword or lance that materializes from nowhere. Once, he just breaks up with me and I collapse. 

That time I wake up from the shock. 

Otome: Top Ten

So like I do with manga, my top ten (in terms of stories I liked) of all the otome games I've read thus far are: 

1. Hideki Ishigami (Her Love on the Force)
2. Yuta Kajima (My Forged Wedding)
3. Takuto Hirukawa (Thief X)
4. Issei Sezaki (Kiss of Revenge)
5. Ayumu Shinonome (Her Love on the Force)
6. Homore Midorikawa (Class Trip Crush)
7. Elias Goldstein (Wizardess Heart)
8. Ivan Chernenkov (Be My Princess 2)
9. Takashi Ninagawa (Scandal in the Spotlight)
10. Byron Wagner (Midnight Princess)

I say top ten but really these are just the handful that I really liked.

So.... generally: quiet/ aloof, smart/ genius-type. Which usually comes with a bit of arrogance and teasing that I've gotten used and can tolerate.

Things I've learned from otome games (this is a jest; don't take me seriously here):

1. Every guy has a sweet tooth (at least in otome games). It's sugar for the brain.
2. Liking the same kind of food is a sign of destiny. 
3. Everyone has a super-fit body no matter what they do for a living or what they eat/ don't eat.
4. Pretty people can be trusted. AKA Villains always look evil. 
5. Geniuses are jerks. Arrogant jerks. But they will reform.
6. Persistence is endearing. So is cluelessness. And clumsiness.
7. The more rude someone is, the more it means they secretly care about you. Aka everyone is tsundere.
8. Flirts and playboys will still fall for you because of [generic reason] that they could find in everyone. #protagonistpowers
9. Your niceness will definitely get to people. People will become better people when you let them push you around.

Otome games: MC names I use

TL;DR: The name I used for an otome game was based off the last otome guy I really liked. 

This is a post about the names I use in otome games:

Aura Ellis  |  Kitari Hirukawa  |  Ayane Sezaki  |  Hikari Ishinome  |  Iyue Kajima

I used to use "Adda Ellis" (my pen name) as my name in these stories. In Thief X though, I thought it looked weird or something and changed it to "Aura Ellis". Takuto Hirukawa was the first of the otome boys below that I really really liked, and thus for the next character I used Hirukawa as the surname. "Kitari" is an original name that comes from "kitsune" (japanese for fox) and "Ahri" (nine tailed fox character in League), inspired by the Black Foxes thief group that the boys of Thief X make up.

The name I used for most of these was thus, Kitari Hirukawa. Next I really liked Issei Sezaki in Kiss of Revenge. However, the name I came up with this was not quite as original or exciting. "Ayane Sezaki" is thus only used in the Her Love in the Force stories (and My Sweet Bodyguard because Ishigami's also in that one). "Ayane" came from Ayame, a female doctor and good friend of the main character (MC) in Kiss of Revenge.

I used the name Hikari Ishinome for a few of them. The surname comes from Ishigami + Shinonome, my two favorite characters from Her Love in the Force. The first name is because Hideki and Hikari look similar and I thought that would be cute. (Hikari is also the name of the protagonist in Special A!)

I’ve also thought of the name Iyue Kajima based in part on Yuta Kajima. Actually it was supposed to be Iymuine, from “Ayumu” which means a dream or vision, and “Imogene” from latin for innocent maiden. I liked how both Ayumu and Yuta's stories were a little more innocent and cheerful than some of the others I’ve encountered (they still have their drama lol). Also, Yuta says (sometime around the wedding story) that he wanted to make a family that was just as supportive and cheerful as the character’s. So Iymuine was kinda like that dream for innocence. But when I went to type it I felt like it was too long. So just Iyue.

Actually, this pattern of using the surname of the last character I really liked created a sense of continuity at first. I really thought of Kitari as Aura and Takuto's daughter (or as much as possible). It didn't really work out with Kiss of Revenge because of the details on the MC's background. But for most characters it worked. Mostly I use Kitari now, or Iyue for more royal-type games or Aura if it's a more european vibe where a japanese name would sound weird. 

Otome games: Non-voltage games.

TL;DR: Moar otome games! These are not by Voltage. 

EDIT: sorry, I had scheduled this to be posted on August 7th; obviously it didn't work -_-"

So although most otome games I read were pay-by-story (let's not talk about how much money it added up to.... -_-") some of these are free. However, I was usually not patient enough to wait for reading tickets every day and hated the event trials and anything that relied on grinding other stats (charm or elegance or whatever) or in-game currency. The only two exceptions to this was Destiny Ninja, which was before I discovered the satisfaction of pay-by-story; and Wizardess Heart, which I just liked enough to push through (with a walkthrough ><")

MORE SPOILERS. MORE OPINIONS!

• Angel or Devil (Shall We Date?)
• Ruvel--the Reaper choice. It had its tender moments. I finished most of it before just looking up the ending online. 
• Destiny Ninja (Shall We Date?)
•  Hattori Hanzo Kazamasa--The first otome game I read! I don't remember too much of it, but I know it was good enough to keep me patiently reading until I finished. I liked how quiet he was actually.
• Forbidden Love: It's Our Secret (Accela Inc)
• I got really mad at this one. Really mad. The idea is that MC's stepfather has ordered her to marry her stepbrother for anyone to get their inheritance. Both Edward (intended main route) and Kevin (alternate route) are abusive towards MC-san, who is just trying her best in her job as a designer. Kevin steals her designs and creates a scandal with her professional life and Edward alternatively pushes her away and comes onto her too strong. If I had to choose I'd go with Kevin though, because in the end he at least apologizes and respects MC's designing talent enough to help her go to Italy, whereas Edward threatens her with his father's will condition . I'm going to stop there before I can remember more examples that will upset me.
• Forbidden Love: The Unforgivable Couple (Accela Inc)
• Like with the one above, I just remember liking Johannes (the alternate/ actual boyfriend) more than Mike (stepbrother and intended main route). This was less severe and I actually liked Johannes a little.
• Midnight Princess (Ikeman Royal Romances)
• *Byron Wagner--This one was really sweet. I don't really get how MC falls in love so quickly and why Byron is so fixated on her specifically, but I like their interactions. Although I'd like it if he took off the eyepatch when they're alone together especially since it's more for the people not to get intimidated by his looking like his dictator father.
• My Sweet Proposal (Okko)
• Keita Mitsui--I actually just watched a play-through of this on youtube or something. Keita and MC are high school sweethearts that broke up due to a misunderstanding. I facepalmed so many times because MC and Keita couldn't recognize that they both still loved each other and that the other girl was messing with them.
• Seduce Me (Seraphim Entertainment) is basically what I want to do with my year off: make an otome game by myself.
• I kinda went for Damien's story at first but ended up getting one where I GOT MAGIC >:D It was awesome! Until Diana showed up. I played a few versions with her, Andrew and Damien and have decided that Diana is the best lover and that having magic beats having a boyfriend. 
• Roommates (Winterwolves) more in this post.
• Max--The first otome game I paid for (before all the Voltage ones). I liked how sweet his and Anne's teasing was. 
• Dominic--at first glance this guy should be more my "type", but....yea the guy's just as pretentious as Max teases him to be.
• Wizardess Heart (Shall We Date?)
• *Elias Goldstein--Another one where I stuck through to the end. I really liked the portrayal of the Gendonlune Royal Magic Academy, which might have been a good part of what entranced me. The story was well paced as well. Some of the questions for the love meter were based on paying attention to other aspects of the story (like answering a question in class); I don't get how that would work, but I'm not complaining haha. What I liked about Elias's story was that he and the MC are on no friendly terms in the beginning and he calls her an idiot almost excessively, and we get to see, step-by-step, how both of them start to have feelings for each other. 

Otome Games: Voltage

TL;DR: I read a lot of otome games by Voltage. 

So to jump off of last week's last last month's manga update I'm also making a list of the otome games (mainly Japanese dating sims) I've played through and the characters with which I played. I've given my opinions on all the characters that I've read at least the main story for. For some most of them I liked them enough to buy the epilogue/ sequel/ sequel epilogue/ various sidestories for, but these are all the people I've read at least the main story for.

WARNING: Mostly my personal preferences. SPOILERS AWAIT. Mostly whited out. XD

* are stories for people that I particularly liked and would read more on.
MC refers to the female protagonist (main character)

• Be My Princess 1--prince and commoner story. 
• Yakov Chernenkov--short, but I thought it was cute. I actually played Be My Princess 2 first, so Yakov was a very intentional choice after Ivan.
• Glenn Casaragi--oh man the love triangle in this one, including the prince, the butler, and even the prince's cute little brother (who is literally the only one I like at the end of everything -_-) is dramatic. Satisfied my desire for some epically dramatic scenes.

• Be My Princess 2--50 years later, some of the same families 
• * Ivan Chernenkov-- I really disliked how sexist his country is....and he was rather cold in the beginning, but I like how they open up to each other. His awkward honesty is makes some dramatic scenes a little less sappy and cliche. Not because there isn't drama because there is a LOT (like when he falls off a cliff and everyone thinks he's dead!) but because I think there could have been cuter/ sappier scenes such as when MC breaks off the engagement and when he realizes his mistake and chases after her.  I'm still debating on whether that's a good thing or not, but with every story Ivan's kinda growing on me. There's a lot of inherent sexism that goes on with this character, but I found myself liking him as he starts to recognizes that MC-san as a strong person; he not only acknowledges her pastry chef profession but encourages her. :D
• Class Trip Crush--Meeting and developing feelings on a co-ed class trip. 
• *Homare Midorikawa-- After reading the other two stories, I realized that Homare's story is a little distorted because of how lone-sheep this guy was. The 3 years later and everything are very mellow but still very cute. I like rereading bits of this story (especially the entire arc with the playboy tutor) but the more I do (and the more substories I read with him) the more I realize Homare's kinda a jerk. 
• Nagisa Ichinose-- I appreciated this guy's role as a friend than a love interest; I liked him more I read Taketo's story. Nice, sweet guy. 
• Taketo Kanzaki-- Oh man the drama with his twin brother also crushing on the MC was great. It was sweet and cute while it lasted, but wasn't enough to entrance into buying any sequels.
• Enchanted in the Moonlight-- Ayakashi (demons) offer to protect the MC in exchange for her power. 
• Yukinojo-- He's pretty and I like the snow/ice element. I also liked the purple flower they plant together but think that MC gets a little too obsessed about it. He also almost rapes MC in the beginning, which was a definite negative point. I don't really get how they fall for each other--especially MC-san-- while they're avoiding each other, and don't really see why the lover from a hundred years ago element was necessary. Disappointing. Probably more so because I was really looking forward to the magic (the smoke animations were neat though!)
• First Love Diaries--High school couple going through all the firsts together.
•  Actually I didn't really like either of these stories. They were cute, but both of them moved way to fast for me. With Nao I thought maybe it was because I chose the jock for the first time, but that wasn't the case...at all....
• Nao Fujimori--I would like to note though, that there is a very serious (and well-appreciated) message here about protection. The characters actually spend almost a full episode hunting for a condom and making sure there's mutual consent. *clap clap clap* 
• Mitsuru Sanada--When I think of this story, I always jump to this first, irritatingly enough: They have sex for the first time in a toolshed on a rainy day. Literally, "There's bad weather and we're trapped here so why not."  Unromantic-ness aside, that sounds like a unclean place. Point taken though, MC-chan spends almost the following two episodes panicking if she's pregnant.
• Her Love in the Force--Police academy student and teacher. 
• This is my favorite overall series right now. All three paths that I've bought thus far have not disappointed and the interactions with the other characters are enough to get a good glimpse at them while providing some amusement. I love how MC-san get some great character development in each of these. 
• Seiji Goto--I played Goto's route at first just because I wanted to try out the story and the other stories hadn't been released. I remember being very touched by the development of their relationship. I like how they depend on each other.
• *Hideki Ishigami-- This was one of those stories that I ranted to xForsakenx about so much as I read through it--for good reasons. I loved how the MC develops in this story--she starts off as someone who's almost looked down upon but through her own effort and some grudging help from Ishigami becomes a force to be reckoned with. At the end of the second season she still needs a little saving, but that's only after she's kicked some major ass. 
• *Ayumu Shinonome--I played Shinonome's route because 1) I usually go for the genius hacker type, 2) I was looking forward to his route from when I first got the app and 3) I was pretty sure I wouldn't like another route more than Ishigami's. I'm not sure about that third point anymore though. I love the drama with Sachi, Shinonome's childhood friend and first love. It was really quite refreshing (at least for me) for the love interest to be in love with someone else for a a good half of the main story. 
• In Your Arms Tonight--MC's husband is a cheating on her and she meets someone she actually loves.
• Kippei Ebihara-- Ebihara is MC's boss. I was really skeptical I would like this one, but I remember choosing him because his was the only one whose first chapter really stood out. I really liked one of the last scenes where Ebihara, who has been calmly referring to MC as "just an employee" walks up to MC's dirtbag husband and is just like "Please divorce your wife. I can make her happy, more than you have." 
• Genji Higashiyama-- For an arrogant jock-type, I really liked how sweet Genji was and how the action played out. I feel like the MC and him have a really good and believable rapport, even if they need to communicate more. 
• Kiss of Revenge--MC is after revenge on the hospital that killed her mother.
• *Issei Sezaki-- This story was ON POINT with the drama. There's a beautiful tension as MC works hard to get close to Issei, the son of the hospital director, for her revenge. And of course there's a beautiful internal conflict when she realizes she loves him but that he was the actual surgeon responsible for her mother's death.
  
  Like in some of my other favorites, I liked that MC is a strong character and a respected doctor in her own right. She has her flaws, such as showing too much of her feelings on her face, but she works hard to cover for those and demonstrates her competency as a doctor and humility as a person. Also, because of her focus on her revenge, there's actually some time for a relationship to develop before she and Issei get romantically involved. The first few times Issei shows affection are a little sudden, but in no way detrimental to the story.
  
  I could probably play another character, but I'm a little hesitant. None of the other love interests jumped out to me personally. That, and I like the relationships everyone has in Issei's route too much >,<
• Kiss Me on Clover Hill-- Art school student living with male roommates. 
• Soichi Kiyota-- I remember really liking the route as a story, even if I didn't quite like the characters. That is, I liked the drama with Soichi's father and how everyone tried to help (or avoid) conflict. I liked how they built the relationship and how passionate Soichi was about his dream to be an architect. I even liked the backstory with Soichi's grandfather building the house. But I guess the romance just didn't completely pull at my heartstrings and make me want to read more. I should probably try some of the other characters later. 
• Kissed by the Baddest Bidder-- Hotel employee is sold in an underground auction to her boss's group of friends.  
• Eisuke Ichinomiya--nah, this just pissed me off. To the very end of the main story I can't tell if I'm his convenient coffee-making gofer or his girlfriend.
• Thief X 
• *Takuto Hirukawa-- Takkun was the first otome guy that I really liked....
• Tatsuro Togoshi--Forsaken thought I would like the childhood friend. He's really nice, and I really like him... platonically. (Even though it's cute that they both had/ have crushes on each other as kids)
• Riki Yanase--The drama was well received in Riki's route. Ironically, I ended up liking Takuto a little more because of the crush he develops on MC in Riki's route.
• Hiro Sarashina--I was actually really disappointed by Hiro's route because I really enjoyed the childish playfulness of his character from the other routes. But his actual route felt like just a lot of Hiro dragging MC-san around. I don't quite remember how they fall in love....
• My Forged Wedding-- Pretend to be with (and actually live with) someone you just met. 
• *Yuta Kajima-- I took a long time deciding which character to read in My Forged Wedding. All of the guys all seemed to have their pros and cons and I was just really indecisive. I decided on Yuta after seeing snippets of their interactions from his view in one of the side stories.
  
   Yuta is just a bundle of fun and even if some of the Fukumini jokes aren't actually that funny, I had a lot of fun with this route and with him. As a couple, MC and Yuta just fall into the couple mentality of living together without thinking about it too much, and how encouraging he is. I was really moved by this one, especially when Mashiro, Yuta's comedy partner, tells them to stop the fake wife act. When the same conflict comes up with MC's dad, I was just as sad for them.
  
  The only complaint I have for this route is that Yuta basically proposes to MC 3 times: once in the beginning for the fake-wife deal, then again when he asks her to be his girlfriend officially, then again when they actually get married. It was definitely thrilling, but a little confusing. And....ok I thought the play in Paris being redone for the MC was kinda unbelievable. But they can have otome game luck simply because it makes for some great sappy scenes. Definitely one of my favorites. I may try some of the other routes too. 
• My Sweet Bodyguard--bodyguard and defended.
• *Hideki Ishigami--I got this route because I really liked Ishigami in Her Love in the Force. MC is an actress in this one and actually puts her skills to good use in helping Ishigami with some of the cases. At some points it seemed a little forced, but compared to how the MC reacts in other otome games, this one was definitely able to seem more composed. Ishigami's workaholic nature is almost endearing--if only it didn't take away so much time from their cute interactions.
• My Wedding and 7 Rings-- grandfather and boss wills that MC marry one of the 7 executives of the company.
• Asahi Kakyouin--Maybe I just don't like rich jerks as much as I thought I would. I was really ok with him until I played Junta and Yamato's route's and found their conversations much kinder. There are some really cute scenes with Asahi though, such as when they run into the lost kid in France or when they work together to make a company proposal.  Also, this was the only route in which the guy resigning from the company makes even a little sense.
• Junta Nikaido-- Of the three, I think Junta's route was my favorite romantically. They have some cute moments together and I like the drama that unfolds with Junta's honey-trapping partner. 
• Yamato Kougami--I think I liked the banter that went with Yamato the most of these three. Maybe it comes from them being old friends, but I liked these guys as friends more than a couple. 
• Our Two Bedroom Story--coworkers living together
• Minato Okouchi--There was awesome drama and some unnecessary alpha-male behavior. It was a good story, but nothing that enticed me to want to know any more.
• Seduced in the Sleepless City-- journalist covering a celebrity.
• *Noel Aijima-- This was just....a really cute route. There is definitely a little drama, but MC-san is really emotionally just there for Noel and doesn't take shit from anyone. Her persistence is actually kind of incredible, second only to her luck. He was cute.
• Scandal in the Spotlight--ghostwriter and band member
• *Takashi Ninagawa-- Man, do not confess to me, let me tell you I love you as well, and then tell me we can't be together because you can't concentrate!! I waited to get this guy's route from all the others and am glad I did. Quiet but sweet, Takashi doesn't really believe in the MC until she proves herself; while I was a little miffed that he seemed to get closer to her just for that, at least the MC gets acknowledgement that way. Once past that though, I was quite charmed by how they work together and care for each other. 
• True Love, Sweet Lies--freelance photographer working with a detective agency.
• Sakuya Nanahoshi--Due to some kind of happy error, I actually got this story for free and it was the first of Voltage stories that I read. After this I also got Takuto from Thief X's main story for free and that was what really got me into otome games. >< From what I remember, Sakuya's route had me constantly thinking "Rely on me more! Rely on your friends more! Stop being so proud...and then possessive...and then sitting there glued to your work without telling people what you're doing!"

HIIIIII + Changes

HELLO EVERYONE!!

Blog address will be changing to www.addaellis.blogspot.com next week! Thanks for continuing to read! <3

Sorry I've been gone for so long without notice! No excuses, only hopes (as usual) that I'll get better at this ><"

I just finished the otome game post--a comprehensive list of the otome games I've played through and some of my thoughts on them. I'm thinking of breaking them into 3-4 posts though, since the entire thing is over 3500 words long O_O

On that note, I'm hoping to divide up posts so that they're shorter. I'll separate my rants about life and reading from actual writing and those from any art that I do. There'll probably be a change to the blog tag structure that will go with it.

I am also going to change the blog address to www.addaellis.blogspot.com from aurasinewindrose.blogspot because my pen name seems more relevant to the blog than a character than hasn't even been written about very much XD. This change should happen sometime around next week. I am unsure if blogger will keep redirecting the old address over, but just in case!

Ok! Hopefully the first part of that otome update will be up over the weekend!

Manga Update

Hello! Yet another update on what I've been reading XD As always, semi-spoilers await. My list of all-time favorites at the bottom!
I'm really brief with some of them because there's a lot and I didn't have much to say about some of them.

My favorites are marked with stars (*).

ARISA (complete)-- I breezed through this a while ago. A dramatic read, but I liked it. The characters made me mad, but I think that was why I enjoyed them so much.

Cage of Eden (complete)--I was inspired to read it because it's a survival, Lord of the Flies-esque premise where a plane crashes on a strange island in the middle of nowhere. It's pretty good as a plot but I can't get over the absolute sexism. Almost every girl exists almost solely as eye candy for the boys, and the few who can stand their own are still inferior to the boys. Absolutely aggravating. Also I didn't really like the flashback ending, even if it answered some questions.

**Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (ongoing)--I had started this one earlier, didn't really understand it at first and came back and thought it was absolutely hilarious. There's also an anime :D

Good Morning Call (complete)--Cute! I feel like the end is rushed a little, and that made me very disappointed, but otherwise I remember enjoying this one.

High School DxD (ongoing)--I actually caught up on this a while ago but I apparently didn't write about it. Action-packed shounen with magic and school life. The protagonist is strong, and there's a harem thing going on that I found a little awkward because the protagonist's intentions towards half of those girls are pretty platonic. Notwithstanding, great read and I miss reading this one. I heard the anime has gotten further.

*Kimi ni Todoke (ongoing)--I loved the beginning and the development of the main couple! Recently it seems little slowed down but I would definitely still recommend.

Midnight Secretary (complete)-- Forsaken kept talking about vampires so I was like "oh ok, I'll look at this!" It's quite a bit of smut, but still an nice story, and the protagonist is a great secretary X). Vampires and Secretary. No but seriously I respect this protagonist. If only her love interest weren't such an asshole.

**Noragami (ongoing)--shounen, and probably one of my favorite so far. Gods have the ability to take dead spirits as vassals and tools and the god Yato is trying to be a god of fortune despite his destructive nature. There are a lot of puns that are hilarious or insightful once you get the wordplay. (The hardcopy version has pages explaining all the puns and cultural references and I think scans have parts of these or translator comments explaining them.)

Ookami Shoujo to Kuro Ouji (ongoing)--Another one I've been following for a while but didn't write about. I've really liked a few key scenes, but overall the recent mini-situation every chapter isn't captivating me. There might be a scantalating problem too because a few situations seem to build up, and then get randomly immediately resolved.

Real Fake Princess (complete)--Chinese manhua about a princess being reinstated into her birthrank while dealing with the ridiculous requests of her brother the Emperor. I appreciated the ridiculousness of the Emperor actually. While I didn't find the romance particularly reasonable and didn't like the protagonist very much, I do like the story and the art.

Zetsuen no Tempest (ongoing)--Really mind-blowing trains of thought.

UPDATES on manga previously mentioned:

Hirunaka no Ryuusei (Daytime Shooting Star) is COMPLETE! Personally I enjoyed the ending and my ship sailed XD.

TOP FAVORITES FOR MANGA, including ongoing:
I include everything except CardCaptor Sakura and Bakuman because those would dominate every list ever, in manga or anime. (Side note, :D) I have also left the Ability Shop out of this list because it is a oneshot; it would however, make this top list somewhere.

1. Skip Beat
2. Noragami
3. Fairy Tail
4. Last Game
5. Watashi wa xx Shinasai 
6. Witch Hunter
7. Kyou, Koi wo Hajimemasu
8. Daytime Shooting Star
9. Kare Kano

And while I'm talking about stuff to read/ watch, AVENGERS!!!!!!! Age of Ultron was amazing and the action was incredible and the feels and synergy was spectacular. My only complaint is now I have to wait until they make Avengers 3 to see what happens next >:(

Returning from Hiatus

Hi!!!

Sorry I'm a little late on this. I meant to make my return a long time ago this/ last month, but these last two weeks have been really busy with 3 presentations for research, a bunch of dinners with family friends, a wedding (<3333333) and a paper I literally just finished writing.

So although I'm about 2 hours late of my intended return range, I'm back! :D I have my last week of undergraduate college coming up next week, finals and graduation the week after, but I at least can talk about manga and otome game updates for those two weeks XD

I'll be back to posting little writing updates every week thereafter! I'm still figuring out how to reimagine the blog content so bear with me!

Manga update next week! I've actually been reading a little...a little XD

Much love for keeping with me!
~Mini

Praise and Playing Better

TL;DR: Mini is obsessed with League and has no life. Homework assignment I overdid. :P

Basically, the prompt was to read about good sportsmanship in the book and comment on it. I was determined to finish this assignment by tonight so I could devote tomorrow to studying because Sunday I'm participating in a League tournament and I have three midterms on Tuesday (Professors are scheming against me D: )

It took me about an hour and a half to write this thousand-word monster, which, combined with about half an hour reading the book and another half hour cutting this to about 675 words to actually post on the class blog, still comes to one of the faster times it's been to do the blog assignment. (And it's done early and was more fun.) Obviously, because I turned the assignment into an excuse to talk about League XD

Either way, please enjoy it!

WC: 1,248

     Praise and Playing Better
     As I read chapter 7, I found myself nodding in agreement to the book’s examples of good and bad  sportsmanship and its importance in making and retaining friends; moreover, I was most interested in the book’s concept of fellowship. More specifically, as  author Dr. Elizabeth Laugeson says, “One of the easier ways to show people that you’re a good sport is to praise them”.  Drawing off my gaming experience from League of Legends, an multiplayer online battle arena game, I comment and expand on what the book describes directly as praise and tie it to other sections of good sportsmanship. 
     Reading through the book’s suggestions of verbal praises, I realized that there is an unspoken decorum amongst the people I play with in League: Before games, some people will type in the all chat “glhf” (good luck; have fun); even though everyone plays to win, I like seeing this, because it reminds people that the point of a game is to have fun. It’s customary to quickly type out a “nj” or “gj” (“nice job” or “good job”) if someone on the ally team gets the first kill in the game. During the game, people on both teams will congratulate players for getting a much-coveted pentakill. (Sometimes, if one player has gotten a quadrakill, then the last remaining player will more or less let themselves get killed so that the player gets the penta). As the book mentions, at the end of the game, almost everyone says “gg” (good game). An alternative of this is “ggwp” (good game, well played) that combines praise with gracefully concluding a match: it’s a compliment to both teams that summarizes the feeling “win or lose, everyone played well and I had fun”. In professional e-sports, the winning team will cross to the losing team’s side to shake hands; this seems to be something mirrored from all sports. (Here I also remember that my favorite part of water polo was cheering the other team’s name and shaking hands with all the opposing players after the match.) Like the honor description in League says, being an honorable opponent that is “humble in victory, graceful in defeat” is part of being a positive player. 
     Recently I’ve had the honor of playing with a player that, despite not being the most skilled , is a great sport and fun person to play with. He always has a good word to say:  “Nice skillshot”, “Great engage there”, “Thank you for the vision/ warding”—and this is just commenting and complimenting small things that a support player like me is used to doing unappreciated. After team fights, he’ll tell other players, “That was a great ult” (ultimate), or “thank you for saving me” or even just “that was incredible!”; even if the fight soured for us, it keeps people’s spirits up and turns our frustration to determination. Even when I screw up and get him killed or we lose our lane and are doing poorly, he assures me over Skype that it’s ok and that it was his fault too. Like everyone, he is disappointed by mistakes, but instead of getting upset or frustrated, he communicates cheerfully about strategies and asks for tips to avoid the same mistakes in the future. Despite my primarily being a support character, he’ll cheer, “I believe in the Min carry!” and remind me that the support is an essential, even if undervalued, part of the team. Playing with such a great player has given me insight on how having such a positive fellow on the team unifies things and makes the game more fun. Having someone hold an unshakeable belief that you can do your best in every game—and being vocal about it—really prevents any player from feeling like they are dragging the team down or are just unskilled.  Instead, it brings people up and makes them even more determined to do well and have fun.
     Since the friend from above and I play complimentary roles (support and carry), we do occasionally swap tips or ask each other to so something. As the Laugeson defines, this is coaching in that we “intend to guide…and help [each other]…play better”. Where Laugeson pins coaching as a bad thing though, I think guiding (particularly inexperienced players) with a few tips and tricks is helpful; as long as we don’t entirely take the controls away from the person we’re coaching or try to micromanage their movements. Being friendly and showing concern for a fellow player doesn’t need to be bad, especially if the help is welcome and shows awareness of that struggling teammate. After all, being able to teach someone something shows a true understanding and mastery of that concept or skill. Of course, I say this only in the context that the other person welcomes the constructive criticism: some people are sensitive, some want to struggle and learn on their own, and some people just think they’re the best. 
     I’ve noticed that there are benefits for the positive player for demonstrating good fellowship as well. A lot of what Laugeson says about acclaiming others translates into just noticing what people do well. By noticing what other people do well in the game, a player can also get to understand other positions and connect and work better with them, avoiding misunderstandings. By noticing good plays, they will learn to set up good plays of their own and become a better player. By noticing other players, players increase their map awareness and understanding of what is going on in the overall game. The book mentions in the section about being competitive that the first step is to avoiding being over-competitive is to “keep cool”. Furthermore, by building a sense of camaraderie  by consistently (not excessively) lauding them for what they do well, we can discourage others from raging. People cannot very easily yell at a person telling them they’re doing great, and staying respectful even when the other person is raging reminds them to calm down as well. Anecdotally, I was once being raged at by a stranger because I got caught by the enemy team  in bad position and died pointlessly. Our team had been behind the entire game and this player kept getting upset with everyone on the team, evening making someone rage-quit. Despite being tempted to snap back, I instead accepted the advice they were throwing at me. They stopped yelling, and even apologized for being too harsh. For the remainder of the match, I remained mostly quiet, focused on staying safe, and offered encouragement to the remaining  players. Even if we couldn’t pull out a win, we got mighty close for a 4 v 5. 

     I acknowledge that in every game—online or not—and at every level—professional or novice—there are toxic players. (As positive as I’ve been, League has a bunch of trolls and ragers as well.) I am extremely fortunate to encounter less and less of these toxic players, and I hope it is in part because I try my best to be a positive player in any game I play. Thus, I think if people are good sports themselves, they’ll find themselves playing with other good influences. That all starts with being aware and praising teammates—and opponents— for what they do well and keeping a level head. As Lux, one of my favorite League champions, seems to always say whenever our team is behind: “Stay positive.” 

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TL;DR: Sorry for the hiatus! I'll try to post more often and consistently, and work on reducing the length of the posts.

Hi everyone!

Sorry for the hiatus! I flimsily cite finals and being sad about school XD (cough patheticexcuse cough). Over winter break I was relatively unproductive, being I sent my computer to be fixed for a few days and was playing League for the second week (I can play League again! I'm still fawning over how beautiful Ezreal is <3)

Plans:
Yea, we all know this never happen so why bother :x. I'll update the project plans page when I decide on what I'm doing XD.

Classes:
Sound pretty fun this quarter. It should be a full schedule for me; not overloaded, but a definite busy schedule. I'm switching out my CalTeach credits for an Education minor. I don't really know what I'm going to do with all my minors, but at least it's something to show for it, right? :)

Sooooo, ushering in the new year a little belatedly, I hope to be posting again soon! That is:

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