TL;DR: Writing "Zephyr", not "Sun Dagger" for NaNoWriMo 2014. Was thinking of joining a deviantART roleplay but won't. (Featuring a drawing!) Some musing about what my mentor teacher said and a few images of identity.
NaNoWriMo 2014: As indicated last week, I'm not going to be writing Sun Dagger for NaNoWriMo 2014. I talked it over with Forsaken before finalizing the decision, but basically, Sun Dagger has always been a story I worked on slowly and random scene by random scene. In my excitement I had come up with a beginning-middle-end story format for Sun Dagger, but upon closer examination, it had a lot of plot holes and a lot of cultural situations I would like more time to develop.
From there my options turned to: Psychic, ECA prose version, or Zephyr:
- I decided against Psychic because my original vision for it was nowhere near 50K words, and honestly I didn't really want to try writing it in a month.
- ECA prose version was a very tempting option. I already have a solid story with 100+ scenes that just need to be fleshed out, and it would help me explore into Edge territory. (Edge is unwritten and its story keeps getting changed, but....it's personally meaningful.
- Zephyr isn't really a story. It's an extended character background of my roleplay character Alina Zephyr. I do have an outline of it, but Alina's adventures leave enough leeway for me to write random scenes and explore the world with her.
We narrowed it down to ECA or Zephyr, and from there, I decided to take a risk and work with Zephyr. ECA would be the "safer" option, but I want to work on something new, and play with a different character. We'll see if I made the right choice.
Roleplay and Art: I stumbled upon King and Queen Academy yesterday and was super excited, enough to redesign a character, draw and ink her for an application portrait, but then reality caught up to me.
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| Enlaika Hieron as a KQA student. So many problems with this drawing, but I'm still proud of it. It's been a while since I've drawn. |
RealisticMini: Wait, Mini, do you really have time for a roleplay? Especially one that involves drawing?
OptimisticMini: No it should be fine. I'll be able to spend a little time every week on dA and drawing.
ArtisticMini/ the mini that draws and sews and does creative projects besides writing: Yea! It'll be ok. If I don't need to color, then it'll just be a sketch and inking. One a week. It's good practice and it's not time-consuming.
WriterMini/ NaNoWriMo mini: If you're concerned, then you can just tell the admins that you're doing NaNo in November and won't be active until December.
ArtisticMini: exactly! You usually do an art project in December anyways :)
Mini: yea....this sounds like a good idea.
RealisticMini: Hold up. December means finals. You've got to study and keep up with fieldwork. Fieldwork isn't just a side-class thing now. It's as important as anything else.
Mini: Well...yea....that's true.
WriterMini: I hadn't considered that. You have writing projects to continue in December too, did you forget? You promised you would try to treat me more seriously as well, not just as a hobby.
ArtisticMini: .... :'(
Mini: But...
ArtisticMini: No...they're right....
WriterMini: D: ArtisticMini, I'm sorry!
ArtisticMini: I understand. :') I just have a small request: Get a proper notebook/sketchbook and start noting details down. Observations. And...even if it's not for a roleplay, try to draw more. You'll be happier too.
So ultimately, it's like Forsaken mentioned: "I don't recommend it, but [I'm not going to stop you]." (Paraphrased at the end.) The artsy part of me agreed: it's not recommended, but it shouldn't stop me from drawing entirely.
Being You: I keep going back to something my mentor teacher said on Friday: "I've had quite a few more years of being me than you have being you. I've had more time to get comfortable in my own skin."
In context, I was asking how I could be more humorous and she responded it just wasn't me. I shouldn't be trying to mimic her brand of humor, but to find my own personality and my own niche. Being funny just isn't something I am. I admire wit, but don't consistently expect from myself. Her conclusion was that "You're quirky; you just have to find a way to show it." Forsaken helped me understand this conclusion today as well. I actually like it. (hey, it has "q", "k" and"y" in it. I like all those letters.)
Out of context I thought it was insightful because it gave me the image of people wearing different "skins" (think character alternative looks) and gradually finding what was consistent and fundamental about them across all the different looks. Like a kid in an oversized/ weirdly shaped costume and gradually growing into it to that it fits them perfectly.
And in the context of my artistic disappointment: I've always appreciated my breadth of interest, but I think I'm finally starting to find pillars that are central to my character. And as I find these, I want to put more into them:
I write. I enjoy school and learning.
I'll definitely be ok.
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