Staying faithful wasn’t hard. She had Ryan, Lynna and even Gareth to hang out with whenever Jeriah wasn’t around, and work and academic goals to work towards. She could go wherever she wanted, and she didn’t have to worry about ever getting a date again. After all, she was a married woman.
Between early shifts at the lab and late nights wherever else, Amy hardly saw Jeriah alone. It hadn’t really bothered her at first. But after glimpsing him in South District’s shadier lots on last evening, Amy felt a bit of dread heading home.. Last night she had tried waiting for him on the couch. When she woke up, it was to the sunrise. He’d turned off the music, put away the textbook and notes, wrapped a blanket around her and left her a note:
“Don’t wait up for me. Hope you slept well :)”
She sighed.
Finally, after nearly half an hour doing nothing but sitting on the couch with her arm thrown over her eyes, she dragged the blanket back to Jeriah’s room. He had stuck to the sleeping bag even when she wasn’t there to take his bed, she noticed. She stared at his sleeping figure for a long time. Had he really been there last night? Maybe she was just dreaming. She shook her head. His condition was that she not cheat on him. He never promised to do the same. It wasn’t her right to be so concerned.
That didn’t change the hurt in her chest or the confusion for why she felt so bad. With a quiet sigh, Amy picked out her clothes, changed, and headed out to the kitchenette to make breakfast for three as usual.
“Good morning.”
Amy jumped, and arms wrapped themselves around her.
“Sorry I startled you.”
“Gareth? Uhm…”
She had half a mind to tell Gareth to leave her alone. She didn’t know he woke up this early as well. She stood stiffly in his arms. What was he doing?
“Did you sleep on the couch the entire night?”
“I was just engrossed in my notes,” she told him. “Uhm. Could you please let go?”
He hesitated, and squeezed her closer. She fidgeted nervously, but was unable to move against the wall of muscle that was wrapped around her.
“Amy, forget my cousin. He’s not worth it.”
She flinched. Had he figured them out?
“Gareth, let go of me.”
He finally let go of her. Amy stepped away, keeping an eye on Gareth, who was standing around in only gray silk pants. With the light morning sun gleaming off his muscles and casting a dramatic shadow over his face, she had to admit he was gorgeous. She refocused her attention on the eggs.
“You’re just a tool to him,” Gareth said, almost pleading with her now. “Look, you know where he was last night. And every Tuesday when he gets back late. You’re too good for someone who does that to you Amy, sweets.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” She focused on making food, like she did whenever she was upset. She poured her frustration and confusion into chopping onions and tomatoes and threw them into the omelette as though she were burying her feelings.
“He comes back past midnight, dead tired with the scent of perfume in his clothes and a ridiculous sense of accomplishment and satisfaction! Where else is he?”
She remembered the carefree expression on his face and the way he had ambled so familiarly towards the building with the neon-pink signs. She hadn’t noticed perfume in his clothes any of those nights, but she had to admit she wasn’t one for sniffing around.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she repeated, as much to convince Gareth as it was to convince herself. She grabbed a plate and slid the omelette into it. “If you’re awake, could you make yourself useful and set the table?”
Gareth caught her hand in his. She whirled, half-intending to be angry with him. His face was right in front of hers, pleading. “Choose me.”
She probably made a mistake by not pulling away immediately and slapping him.
“Choose me instead.”
Amy tugged her hand away and went back to making breakfast.
“This comes a little late, you know.”
“Nonsense. You remember our cousin Valerie? Valerie was introduced as Leroy’s fiancé. She met Sherman at their engagement party. Sherman had a better deal for her, and two months later it was Sherman standing at the altar.”
“A better deal?”
“Money. Benefits. Rights as a member of the prestigious Krovstoff Group. Status. Privilege. Connections. Whatever you call it.”
“I’m not marrying for money,” she said firmly. Amy felt a pang in her chest. Was that a lie? It had been a very convincing factor. But there was something else that Jeriah Krovstoff had offered her. Or at least that she thought he had offered. She had craved the stability of having someone to turn to. He’d chosen her when she had nothing to give him, so she’d never thought he had anyone else in his heart. And the way he had been so serious about their having a proper backstory, the way he stayed up late to talk to her—she had just never thought he’d not care at all.
Gareth laughed. “Then what? My cousin isn’t going to shower you with affection or attention. He’s in love with his work, Amy. There isn’t room for anything or anyone else.”
The words stung. Amy gazed at the bookshelves that now had her books sprinkled through them. Yeah, Jeriah loved his work. And that’s what had endeared him to her at first, when she was just trying to cope with having a partner in life again. She’d thrown herself into work to stave off her depressing feelings when she and Cyril broke up. At She used to sleep in her old lab so she could wake up surrounded by other people’s thoughts and feelings. As long as she had someone else’s dream reader data, she could clear her head and ignore the pain in her heart.
“Amy…I know there’s a contract between you. That’s how it’s been with all of our family. Everyone buys their spouses. My cousin’s no exception.”
Amy tapped the spatula harshly against the side of the pan. She hated to think that she was being played—again. “If that’s what you think, then I beg to know— what is Jeriah gaining by marrying me? My family is middle class, unremarkable. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. No money, no connections, no—what did you call it? Benefits.”
“That’s what’s so messed up. He gets your heart. Your earnestness. The stability of having someone there that won’t be able to leave him.”
“Why would I choose you over him then? By your reasoning, I’m stuck in a loveless marriage either way.”
“I wouldn’t leave you questioning and uncertain at the dead of night,” he said immediately. “Wouldn’t you rather be with someone that cares? Someone who would love you, care for you, pay attention to you? Actually love you?”
Amy shuddered. His voice and words hit a little too close to the things Cyril used to tell her. Her thoughts were racing back to those familiar, nerve-bending reminders: She had nowhere to go, no one to run to. Why not stay with someone who would always watch her, shower her with affection, protect her from everything—
Amy slid omelette number two into a plate and dumped the pan and spatula into the sink. Her hands shook too much to even cook or wash now. It was time to find something else to drown her thoughts and feelings in. She grabbed her bag and coat.
Gareth caught her wrist. She tugged away firmly. “Leave me alone, Gareth. Leave us alone.”
Notes:
This is actually originally 3 scenes spliced together, but I actually really like how it worked out. And of course another excuse for me to add in a conversation-interrupted-by-doing things segment.
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